Six Bad Things About the RAZR

August 21, 2006

I was going to post a long, thoughtful essay on the art of living an intuition-based life but instead I am going to post a whiBAD!ney review of my new Motorla RAZR VC3 phone.

-HAND FEEL: BAD! Yes is it thin, but it is also very wide and very flat. Talking on a RAZR is like trying to talk on a credit card. You have to balance its skinnny edges on the tips of your fingers and hope for smooth sailing. Forget about walking the Rottweiler while you chat with your sweetheart.

-RINGER: BAD! The ringer isn’t loud enough, and the vibrate buzz function is weak. I only hear the phone when I’m in church, and I don’t go to church.

-MENU LABELING: BAD! It bugs me that to turn off the vibrate function and turn on the ringer, you have to select “master volume.” Hello–it’s a cell phone, not a studio recording mixer.

-EXTERNAL LCD: BAD! It’s so dim you pretty much have to duck into a cave to check the time.

-TIMING: BAD! Polite people pretend it’s cool I have a RAZR, but I know what they’re really thinking: It would be cool if this was still 2004.

-MISC: BAD! It takes pictures when I mean to take videos, and takes videos when I mean to take pictures. I can’t find the smiley face menu for purposes of annoying the recipients of my text messages. And on what planet do dark red and light blue make a pleasing screen color combo?

Grade: BAD!

BONUS PIRATE JOKE

Q: What kind of phone do pirates use?

A: The RazAAAAAR.

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12 Responses to “Six Bad Things About the RAZR”

  1. anneandper Says:

    But it still looks hot!  Am I so 2004?  — Per

  2. dragonsvamp Says:

    yeah i agree…whats the big deal with this cell??? I don’t own one but alot of my friends do and ive checked it out i don’t think i’ll ever care to own one…all that hype about something that in the end isn’t really worth it…

    now sony ericssons are much more worth it in my opinion…

    kloude

  3. heliotypon Says:

    Talking about cell phones, I remember thta most of the early phones had a useful function by which you could asign a memory position number to your stored numbers. If you needed to call that number and you had memorized its mem position you could enter it and dial. Now I cannot find a phone that has this feature. You have to enter the name (or part thereof) of your party which involves a lot more fidgetting in the dark or reaching for your glasses. Why do they make our lives more difficult as technology progresses?

  4. MattMax Says:

    Yes I agree with Helio… I’ve abonded my Zach Morris phone (1990’s) and have this new smaller Nokia phone (circa 2002 mabye?)… Good news is that I now have Snake 2 to play when the F train is on the Fritze, but that call number thing on my old phone was so fricken nice… I had 99 quick dialing numbers at my disposal.

  5. blccccccx 3 Says:

    i have the razr v3 too. and i like it. although i broke my volume on it and have to go to master volume to fix it. but you can turn the vibration off just by pushing up on the long button on the left on the phone. (when its open)

  6. Meghan Says:

    Half of my friends have these things. Of Coarse I dont. Cell Phones apparently can give you cancer by the electromagnetic waves they send out. Same with Microwaves. I agree with anneandper about how it looks though. It looks nice, but I havn’t used one myself to know about the texture and such. Is it true they give you cancer though?

  7. Iain Says:

    Meghan,

    You are an absolute tool. If you are worried about getting cancer from microwaves (which are ONE type of the many electromagnetic waves roaming around you right now!!!) you should go and hide in a lead box under the ground.

  8. michelle Says:

    i LOVE YOU!… your my inspiration… i think your probably thee only person that totally agrees with me on these stupid RAZR fones & shit!….. i think its a waste… i dont like those fones at all…

  9. Nikki Says:

    This is the best phone eva! It has a great design and is a great phone. It has more positive than negative things. C’mon, u gotta luv it!!!!!!!!

  10. hilodp Says:

    so not true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  11. […] I have a year left with T-Mobile. (Did I mention how much I hate contracts? Why don’t companies, instead of having us sign ridiculous contracts — even more ridiculous when we’re talking about technology under Moore’s Law — why don’t cell phone companies and providers rely on their abilities to innovate and give the best deals? I know: I feel stupid for even asking.) Not that I really have a problem with T-Mobile’s service. I just want an iPhone, and I detest my stoopid Razr. […]

  12. Self Says:

    I don’t know why you would hold your phone with your fingertips, but putting it in your palm works much better. The “backlite” isn’t dim… at all. It’s a cool looking phone, but nothing more. You forgot to mension about the response time, on how to takes 3 seconds to load each screen, when it should be automatic. It also isn’t carried by many services anymore, that should tell you something. Good phone between 2004-2006, but now there are plenty of better phones for the price.


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