At the Borders on Columbus Circle yesterday, I was struck by all the different bibles for sale. There were two full bookcases: you can choose your format, your translation, your favorite font. There are bibles specially for Catholics, for women, for Gnostics and for those who want The Word with a dose of commmentary from Oral Roberts.
Amazon.com is even more Amazing. Search on ‘holy bible’ to weed out stuff like ”The Big Bible of Bar-B-Q” and you still get 111,888 results.
Which gave me a phenomenal money-making idea: start a press that prints customized bibles designed to lend credence to each reader’s personal beliefs and lifestyle choices. In the middle of a dispute, you could pull out your MyBible and say, ‘Look here. Jesus opposes trade tarrifs!’ Or, ‘But it says in verse nine–Love thy neighbor’s wife.‘ Or, ‘Are you kidding? Jesus loves the Mets!’
For $10 extra, the reader could appear in the illustrations–seated next to Jesus at the Last Supper, for example; perhaps as Jesus himself. Or, if they were feeling saucy, as Judas.
We could offer a downloadable digital edition for the iPod, which you could edit to suit your evolving ideas and lifestyle choices. No need to follow the tired morality of last winter’s self. During weekends and holidays, you could set your MyBible to ‘vacation mode’ and indulge without guilt. Updates, of course, would automatically apppear on your MySpace profile.